To begin this post, I need to make a confession. I’m what you might call a dreamer. Those who know and love me best, know that often times I need to be reeled in. I look at the abandoned lot and see the potential for a bustling community center. I read an article about a pilot program that has enabled girls in one small village to go to school and start thinking about what that program would look like worldwide. Call it being an optimist, a Pollyanna, whatever you’d like, but in general, I tend to want to see the good in situations, and I want to see that good on a larger scale.
Because of that tendency, this past week at the shelter has been difficult. And, not for the reasons you might think. I’ve been graciously welcomed. My rusty Spanish has been patiently tolerated. I’ve woken up each morning to a chorus of “Good Mornings” as the girls show off their English skills. There is always a seat saved for me at mealtimes, and the staff and other volunteers have kindly helped me learn the norms of life at the shelter.
No, the difficulty has come from some harsh realities of life, realities that up until this point have been statistics in a report or a quick clip in a promotional video. The fact of the matter is the kids who call the shelter home right now have known more pain and suffering in their lives than anyone should have to experience. They’ve had their trust betrayed by people who seemed to love them. They’ve watched their world be smashed into a million tiny pieces, and then they’ve been asked to start picking up those pieces again.
I knew there was suffering in this world. I have seen poverty in Ghana and Tanzania. I’ve seen situations that were difficult and met people who’d been asked to surmount incredible odds. But, this week, I sat across the table from someone who knew pain I couldn’t imagine. I reviewed homework with someone whose concept of a stable home was as foreign as the algebra I was trying to explain. I rocked the baby of a girl to sleep, who though years younger than me, knew a great deal more about this world than I do. All of those experiences were hard. Not as hard as the circumstances of those around me, but certainly hard to take in.
The shelter is not without its beauty. It is a place of hope and healing. But, it is also a place where grim realities have to be faced. And, I wouldn’t be doing the shelter or myself justice, if I didn’t acknowledge that things are rough in the midst of the good that is coming.
Normally, I’d insert a small story here. I’d talk about the girl who despite everything that had happened to her was still actively pursuing her dream to be an English teacher. I’d describe a warm fuzzy moment to wrap up this post that would bring things to end on a happy note. But this week, I’m not going to. Instead, I ask that you think about the people who have a hard time coming up with a happy story. I ask that you really think about what that must be like.
Being at the shelter has not changed my ability to want to see the good. In fact, it’s made me more determined to find the happy. But, it has also made me realize that harsh realities deserve attention. They should not be glossed over as we move to the part in the brochure about how we can help. Rather, if we really want to be empathetic, we need to take some time to consider the reality of so many people in our world. Children are abused on a daily basis at an alarming rate. We should certainly cheer for the survivors of that abuse and help them through the healing process. We should celebrate with them as they overcome their pasts and move to a better future. We should be actively working to make sure that abuse is prevented as much as it possibly can be. But, in the midst of that cheering and encouraging and advocating, we should also realize that what these children have suffered is real. While we can’t fathom that pain, we can take some time to think about it and reflect on what it must be like. And from there, my hope is that our actions will be more passionate and more dedicated as we strive to make our corner of the world a better place.