The answer to life

Sometime last week in a moment of heavenly epiphany without the use of hallucinogens, I decided that I will stick it to the man and NOT go to graduate school. Yea, take that. Or at least, not immediately after graduation like the rest of my silly, goal-oriented, ambitious, and futurely successful classmates. A broader question: What is wrong with everyone? Why the rush to go to more school? We're young now; we just spent four years memorizing the five hundred points to the Treaty of Tientsin, writing papers on the function of estate in Jane Eyre (extremely bad idea, don't recommend that topic at all) and deciding that Toni Morrison is the most undeserving person in the history of undeserving people to win the Nobel Prize. But no, apparently those four years of coffee and Adderall addiction haven't been enough; people have somehow miraculously forgotten that chunk of time and are fervently applying to graduate schools right and left. And some of these people, in my kindest opinion, shouldn't have even applied to college, unless there was a Investigative Study of Beer and Greek Life major at Wofford that I am not aware of.

What happened to only living once? Do you want to spend your one life (or present life, if reincarnation is your thing) reading books about Art in the Spanish Golden Age (cough, Sarah) or wasting $100,000 on law school knowing full well you will most likely fail the Bar exam repeatedly? Grad school will always be there. If you really want to continue your education, you shouldn't be afraid that if you take a year or two off, you will not want to go back to school. Because that is what graduate school is supposed to be about: Furthering your desire for more knowledge not, so I can get a good job and a 401k, whatever that is supposed to be.  Or, in my case, so my mother won't disown me for being a complete disappointment and waste of birth giving. If you're not absolutely sure what you want to do later on in life, right now at 12:24 AM on October 24, then WHY ARE YOU APPLYING TO GRAD SCHOOL? Take a year off! Two years! Find a job...get some REAL job experience that doesn't include working at your family owned landscaping business with your daddy paying you under the table.

I'm getting annoyed and a little frightened with this growing trend of going to graduate school straight after a four year college. Annoying because all of you certainly have more ambition than me, and frightened because if everyone starts going to graduate school, then what will happen to the job market in the future? Competition will heighten tenfold. You'll probably need a Ph.D just to be a manager at Barnes and Noble or something ridiculous (notice: correct usage of the word ridiculous) like that. We're all so strung out and worried about the future that it is taking all the fun out of life. Take a road trip, work as a bartender, move to Maine, join the circus! Don't worry, all the graduate schools in America won't simultaneously blow up while you're doing your thing.

What blows my mind is I was talking to someone the other day who was considering taking some time off and then applying to graduate school, but then immediately decided no, she could not do that. Why? Because she didn't want to "waste a year" and be one year behind on getting a Ph.D and being the most attractive art history professor the world has ever seen. Is ONE year going to make a difference? Would a college not hire you because you're 32, whereas the other candidate is 31?

(Not to be hypocritical, I once entertained the thought of being an English professor until I realized I can barely write a five page paper, let alone a novel length dissertation.)

I just want everyone to be happy, I really do. I might be bitter and angry and sleepy most of the time, but I hate seeing everyone so stressed out about graduate school and feeling the pressure to decide exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life before the semester is over. I want people to enjoy their senior year of college, to do something they've always wanted to do, and most of all, to STOP TALKING TO ME ABOUT THE FUTURE because I am sick and tired of hearing everyone whine. It makes me whine, and my roommate is tired of staying up till five in the morning trying to reassure me that I am not a failure at life and that boys are absolutely the worst species in existence. That is, next to shrimp, because I am allergic. to it.

So, that is the answer to life and everything. It was very illuminating. You can thank me later.

Comments

[sarah]

Wow, now I think maybe I should take a year off, geez Anna, now you are just making it harder for me! But thanks for the "most attractive art history professor ever" comment :)