As promised from my last post I'm going to talk about my experiences and thoughts about Amsterdam... the effects that I believe its had on me so far.

I feel different and I know after this I wont be the same ever again- I can't be the same. And I think it will be a long time before I fully realize how much of an impact this has really had, but I can already see differences. For one thing I really do feel more independent and confident in my abilities. I have been here on my own, taking care of things myself for several months now and I have done quite well I think. The freedom we are given here is even more than that at Wofford. I live in an apartment with one other person because there is no dorm housing (not really a campus) in the city of Amsterdam! Class schedules are less demanding so I have more time and freedom of choice in deciding when and how I will do things. The Dutch education system in general strives to give students a lot of freedoms in studying and learning. IES makes sure that students have essentials, but after that we are left completely on our own to explore a new city and to build a life in it. I have done this. I live in Amsterdam. Funenpark is my home. I ride a bike everywhere- around canals, over bridges, past windmills, in a crazy city where some drugs are tolerated along with prostitution. The very way of life here is different. I am used to doing my own grocery shopping- frequently because I have to bike all that I buy home so I can never buy much at once, and cooking. I go for runs in Oosterpark, I sit at cafes in Niewemarkt to do homework, I ride around Prinsengracht where there are many beautiful canals just for the heck of it, I shop at Dappermarkt and go for walks around the city often. I have a routine and a way of life which is centered in Amsterdam. I am not completely changed but the things I've done and way that I've lived will definitely change the way i see the world...

Being here, and also traveling to some other cities and countries has given me a much broader view of humanity. I have met, spoken with, and observed many types of people from different religions, backgrounds, and cultures and this in itself is enriching. Learning about other cultures is so neat and rewarding! Its is difficult because culture s inevitably clash in some ways (the Dutch are sooo direct that at first i thought they were always being rude but then i realized that they simply arent as "frinedly" as south carolinians) because they can be very different but neither are right or wrong. Anywhere you go people are just people despite other differences. I must say that I will be excited to be in the US where I will finally be surrounded by a languae I know because everywhere I go in any country I find my self surrounded by foreign languages and people BUT I do not think it will take me long to miss it. Everything here is multicultural. My classes are with very few Dutch students (because they have class in Dutch) but there are tons of international studetns here from ALL over the world and I know students from Western Europe (like france, germany, Denmark) Eastern Europe (Poland, Russia), Israel, South America, Canada, Australia... from all over the world. Also, Amsterdam is one of the most multicultural cities in the world. So many different types of people live here its just insane. Also, by traveling I have met even more people. In europe people tend to move between countries more often- especially since the EU makes moving easier. I am always facing cultural/language barriers. Its exciting though to be in the midst of a place where so many differnt kinds of people live together peacefully (mostly). I now think I understand what my deaf sister feels like- not being able to communicate well or udnerstand whats going on at times. I hope that this has made me more aware of others and their feelings and backgrounds.

Questions about the Dutch way of life have also gotten me thinking... for instance the policies which allow a little "bad" in to keep out a bigger evil- they confuse me. I see the benefit in allowing soemthing to happen which will inevitably occur even without regulation to prevent it from getting out of hand, yet I have always believed that one should stick to what they believe in for the principle of it- even if it seems easier to compromise. Im not quite sure what I've concluded about that yet. For instance though... I went to visit a multicultural class for my field experience project and was shocked by the teacher! She teaches the equivalent of 8th graders in the US and they are all of differnt backgrounds and have trouble adjusting to amsterdam- most from Surinam, Turkey, Morocco or places from the MIddle East like Pakistan. Many live in homes where parents act like they still live in teh home country and/or live in a community with only members of the same ethnic group so they struggle to fit in with teh native Dutch students. There are many terrible stereotypes about these foreigners and some even children get harassed... well to help them to see who they are, to get a grasp on their identity and to be strong enough to ignore stupid comments she actually plays on these stereotypes! She will call a student a "Cunt Moroccan" and go on and on about the stereotypes of Moroccans making it overly dramatic. Then, another student will sit there watching and she'll say... "Oh you lazy Surinamese dont chime in to help it would be too much effort" and then shell address a Turkish student who tries to protest "Dirty Turk you just keep your mouth shut!" And she does this to exaggerate the point and show them just how stupid and meaningless these names and stereotypes are. She says that by the end of it the studnets are all laughing and joining in. By doing things like this she breaks down barriers and says that most students see imporvement by the end of the semester! I was in awe... the Dutch have this tradition where they very inappropraitely poke fun at serious topics- they do this to make them lighter so they can be talked about critically. Offending and exaggerating is the means which many outrageous politicans take too. Apparently the professors do too! It is interesting that she says that the students do improve. She is actually a wonderful teacher. i could see that she was papssionate aobut teaching, cared for her students and they clearly respected her too. This is not out of character at all for a classroom. She tells the students- if i ever do offend you please tell me so I can apologize I never mean to hurt any of you. She also says that she'll have some homosexuals come to the class because many of these students are muslims and are homophobic. She'll tell the class "The gays are coming." They will freak out and someone will inevitably say, "why?" And she'll say "to f*** you." and the students will be alarmed and she'll play on the sterotype-saying yeah dont you know thats all they think about... and the students will protest and she'll go on with it until eventually the students ware standing up for the homosexual visitors, defending them. She says its human nature for people to defend someone whos being attacked. The students will insist that they are only coming to talk- and she'll say oh you're probably right! So she will get them to realize how silly they are being. So... with that said this is the environment I've been in for months. I see certain points of view yet always dont agree with means.

My faith has been tested as I am the only (practicing?) christian in my entire program (i think) and I am happy to say that my experiences here have only helped me to see how and why I beleive what I do. I am sure of the relationship that I have with Jesus Christ and even more than ever I see how essential and beautiful that relationship is...still, I do have some new questions and concerns the think about, pray about, and discuss with others- beleivers and non beleivers. There are things that I have seen and been around which I had not considered before. I believe that it can be good to question things and to seek to understand them better and I beleive that as I seek answers to difficult questions I will actually grow closer. It has mostly been difficult to have no christian friends or a church as an outlet to speak about spiritual things with, but I've found that God is here even if no one else wants Him here. He's blessed me greatly here.

I feel overwhelmed by the thought that this is almost over. I am full of mixed feelings- excited to see certain people and to do certain things again soon but also sad to be leaving my new life here. I've made friends who I will not soon forget and I will greatly miss this beautiful city. I have become more sure of myself and beliefs in some ways and have also adopted new ways and I am excited to see how this will affect my life in SC. I have only 3 weeks left and they will be very busy...

Read my next blog which is about the city I just returned from yesterday... Rome!!!